Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
