i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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