at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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