what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
