I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
