i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
