its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
