My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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