omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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