What did we do last night that was yellow?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Congratulations! We have a period
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