hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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