would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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