Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
