And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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