I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
