physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
