I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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