Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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