yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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