i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
