I just cut my nipple shaving
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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