She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
