I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
