He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
