i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
