apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
