the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
