One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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