I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
