I think i peed on brittanys purse
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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