i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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