she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
