I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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