Please, let me fuck your mom
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
