May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
