Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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