Ketchup is God's man juice
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
