My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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