I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
