all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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