singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
