I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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