Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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