I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
