You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
