I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
