This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
