There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
