I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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