You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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